ARE YOU AN ASSET OR A LIABILITY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
The teaching series that commenced yesterday is part of our ongoing Better Half series, which is currently in its seventh season. The tagline for this relationship-focused series for the month is “You and Me Incorporated.” The first message of this series is titled “Asset or Liability?” This message poses a question to the audience, asking whether they are an asset or a liability in their relationships. It is important to approach this question with humility and gentleness when discussing it with others.
When asking someone whether they are an asset or a liability, it is crucial to do so in a respectful and considerate manner. By approaching the question with decorum, you are more likely to receive a thoughtful response. The intention behind this inquiry is to encourage self-reflection and introspection, rather than to provoke defensiveness or discomfort in the individual being asked. It is essential to remember that the goal is to foster growth and understanding in relationships.
The overarching theme of this teaching series emphasizes the concept of unity within relationships. The idea that “we are one team” underscores the importance of collaboration and mutual support in marriages and partnerships. In contrast to competitive environments like sports leagues, where individual clubs vie for supremacy, relationships thrive when both parties work together towards common goals. By recognizing that unity is key to success in relationships, individuals can cultivate a sense of teamwork and shared purpose in their interactions with others.
Ephesians chapter 5, verse 22, instructs wives to submit to their husbands as they would to the Lord. Verse 23 explains that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church. This verse emphasizes the importance of wives being subject to their husbands in everything, drawing a parallel to the church’s submission to Christ. Additionally, verse 25 urges husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, emphasizing the sacrificial nature of this love. The passage highlights the mutual love and respect that should exist between husbands and wives, drawing a comparison between this relationship and the relationship between Christ and the church.
The passage goes on to emphasize the deep connection between a husband and wife, likening it to the relationship between Christ and the church. It uses the analogy of caring for one’s own body to illustrate the importance of cherishing and nourishing one’s spouse. The text emphasizes that no one hates their own flesh, but rather takes care of it, drawing a parallel to the way the Lord cares for the church. This serves as a reminder of the deep bond and responsibility that exists within the marital relationship, encouraging mutual love and care.
Finally, verse 31 emphasizes the unity and oneness that should exist within marriage. It states that a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This verse underscores the profound unity and connection that should exist between a husband and wife, emphasizing the inseparable nature of their bond. The passage serves as a reminder of the sacred and unbreakable union that marriage represents, highlighting the deep spiritual and emotional connection that should exist between spouses.
In the discussion of You and Me Incorporated, it is emphasized that the focus should be on how to be an asset within the organization. This means that both parties involved should strive to contribute positively to the partnership, bringing their unique skills and strengths to the table. By doing so, the organization can thrive and operate profitably. This requires a mindset of collaboration and mutual support, rather than competition or individualism.
Another key aspect of You and Me Incorporated is creating the right environment for oneness in a marriage. This involves fostering a sense of unity and togetherness, where both individuals work towards common goals and support each other in their endeavors. By establishing the right atmosphere for oneness, the organization can function effectively and harmoniously. This may involve open communication, mutual respect, and a shared vision for the future.
Drawing from the example in Genesis chapter 2, where God established the garden of Eden as the first venture on earth, it is evident that successful organizations require careful planning and investment. The description of the garden’s configuration and the resources within it highlights the value of strategic development and the potential for growth. This serves as a reminder that You and Me Incorporated should be approached with intentionality and a long-term perspective, in order to create a thriving and sustainable partnership.
The rivers mentioned in the text are significant in the biblical narrative of the Garden of Eden. The first river, Pishon, is described as encompassing the land of Havilah, known for its abundance of gold. This river is portrayed as a symbol of God’s investment in the land, with valuable resources such as gold, bdellium, and onyx stones. The second river, Gihon, flows around the land of Cush, while the third river, Hiddekel, is said to flow to the east of Assyria. Lastly, the fourth river mentioned is the Euphrates. These rivers are not only geographical features but also hold symbolic importance in the biblical context.
The text also highlights the responsibility given to Adam by God in managing the Garden of Eden. Adam was tasked with tending and keeping the garden, which implies cultivating, protecting, and guiding the valuable assets within it. This responsibility mirrors the role of a CEO in managing a company, ensuring that the assets are well-preserved and utilized effectively. God’s choice to entrust Adam, a single man, with this responsibility underscores the value and potential that each individual possesses in fulfilling their assigned tasks.
The narrative in the text serves as a reflection on personal value and responsibility. Just as God entrusted Adam with the management of the Garden of Eden, individuals are called to be assets rather than liabilities in their respective roles. The question posed about being the person that one is looking for is seeking emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and personal development. By focusing on cultivating one’s own value and potential, individuals can fulfill their roles effectively and contribute positively to their surroundings. Ultimately, the text encourages introspection and self-improvement in order to fulfill one’s purpose and responsibilities.
It is essential to understand the importance of being an asset in any relationship, especially in marriage. Being an asset means bringing something valuable to the table, something that will contribute positively to the relationship. It is not about being a burden or a liability to the other person. Instead, it is about being willing to put something on the table, whether it is a positive attitude, different perspectives, valuable resources, a strong belief system, or constructive criticism. These are the things that one should bring to the table in a marriage, and it is crucial to reflect on what one has brought to the table in the past and what one is currently bringing.
As we pray and release our faith, it is important to realize that God created us to be assets, persons of value. This means that we must look inwardly to bring out the value within us. Just like Adam was not overwhelmed when he saw the size of what God put him in charge of, we should not be overwhelmed in our marriages. It is common to feel overwhelmed by the issues that arise in a marriage, especially when children are involved. However, the Bible assures us that God will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear. Therefore, it is important to maintain a constant fellowship with God to receive the grace to manage everything within the marriage.
For those who are single, it is important to do a fantastic job with your single life. This means getting to a point where God Himself will look at you and acknowledge your efforts. Just like Adam, who did a fantastic job in the garden, singles should strive to do well in their single life. By doing so, they will be prepared for a future relationship or marriage, where they can bring value and be an asset to their partner. It is about being willing to put something on the table and contribute positively to the relationship, just as God recognized the need for Adam not to be alone and provided a suitable partner for him.
Prior to seeking heavenly blessings, it is crucial to first focus on creating value here on earth. It is essential to perceive oneself through the eyes of God and allow the grace bestowed upon one’s life to manifest. By presenting oneself in a manner that pleases God, one can ensure that their personal Eden is well-maintained and that they are resourceful. For those who are married, it is imperative to understand that God will hold them accountable for how they manage the Eden that has been entrusted to them. Each individual has their own unique Eden, provided by God within their homes, and it is their responsibility to care for it diligently.
When God designed each individual, the intention was for them to embody value and goodness. Men and women were created to be caretakers, nurturers, and givers rather than mere receivers. Man was given the ability to address challenges, make decisions, and solve problems. Understanding the role of grace in one’s life enables them to confront issues head-on instead of evading them. By embracing challenges and finding solutions, individuals can fulfill their purpose as intended by God.
Furthermore, it is essential to consider how to cultivate a positive environment within a marriage to ensure that one is an asset rather than a liability. The atmosphere within a marriage can significantly impact whether an individual contributes positively or becomes a burden. Creating a nurturing environment free from harshness, ungodly criticism, and negative emotions is crucial. By fostering a sense of unity, gratitude, and teamwork within the marriage, individuals can transform their roles from liabilities to valuable assets. It is vital to prioritize building a supportive and loving environment within the marriage to fulfill God’s plan for a harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
The concept of marriage as a covenant is deeply rooted in the New Testament teachings. It emphasizes the sacred and spiritual nature of the union between a husband and wife. Unlike a mere contract, a covenant in marriage signifies a lifelong commitment based on love, faithfulness, and mutual respect. This understanding is crucial for every individual to have, as it shapes the way they view and approach their relationship with their spouse.
Drawing from the biblical reference in Ephesians chapter 5, marriage is likened to the covenant between Christ and the church. The apostle Paul highlights the sacrificial love that husbands should have for their wives, mirroring the love that Christ has for his followers. This comparison underscores the depth and significance of marriage as a covenant that goes beyond legal obligations. It is a spiritual bond that requires selflessness, devotion, and unwavering commitment from both partners.
While a contract focuses on obligations and legalities, a covenant in marriage emphasizes the faithfulness and enduring love between spouses. It transcends mere agreements and instead reflects the divine connection between two individuals joined together in matrimony. Understanding marriage as a covenant, rather than a contract, can transform the relationship from a transactional arrangement to a sacred bond that enriches and sustains both partners. By embracing the principles of covenantal love and commitment, couples can nurture a relationship that is built on trust, respect, and mutual support, mirroring the eternal bond between Christ and his church.
The Bible clearly states that even while we were still sinners, Christ died for the ungodly. This is not a contract, as a contract would imply that one must first stop sinning before receiving any act of mercy. Instead, it is a covenant. The church is described as the bride of Christ, and the covenant is that He will wash her, sanctify her, remove any blemishes, and present her as a bride without spot or wrinkle. In a covenant, both parties are responsible for each other’s well-being, unlike a contract where one must fulfill certain conditions to receive benefits.
In relationships, especially marriage, it is essential to understand the difference between a contract and a covenant. A covenant is based on mutual responsibility and care, while a contract is more transactional. Often, people ignore warning signs or red flags in relationships, only to regret it later. Counseling can sometimes provide comic relief when looking back at how obvious certain issues were, yet they were overlooked. It is crucial to recognize the grace in a covenant, where the debt has been paid, and there is no debtor/debtor relationship.
The New Testament represents a new covenant in Christ Jesus, where grace and forgiveness are central. Operating within a covenant means understanding the commitment to each other’s growth and well-being. It is a stark contrast to the Old Covenant, where debt and repayment were prevalent. In marriages, it is essential to embrace the principles of a covenant, focusing on mutual support and care rather than transactional obligations. By recognizing the grace and forgiveness within a covenant, relationships can thrive and grow in a healthy manner.
The passage in Deuteronomy 24 is now found in Matthew 19, where individuals approached Jesus in verse 1 and inquired about the law of Moses, which allowed a man to divorce his wife for any reason, including something as trivial as putting too much salt in the soup. This was a common practice, and the people were seeking Jesus’ opinion on the matter. Jesus responded by referring to verse 8 of Matthew 19, stating that Moses permitted divorce due to the hardness of people’s hearts, but this was not the original intention. He emphasized that if the hardness of heart was removed from the equation, there would be no need for divorce.
Jesus’ statement about the hardness of heart being a major factor in divorce implies that when people’s hearts are hardened, they are more likely to seek divorce. He suggested that life’s transitions, such as moving from desire to expectation, play a significant role in this. For instance, before marriage, individuals have various desires, such as pampering, good food, and other material things. However, once they are married, these desires turn into expectations, and when these expectations are not met, it leads to disappointment, anger, and frustration.
In essence, Jesus’ response to the question about divorce highlighted the importance of addressing the underlying issues, such as the hardness of heart and the transition from desire to expectation. By understanding these factors, individuals can work towards building healthier and more fulfilling relationships, where desires and expectations are aligned, and the likelihood of divorce is minimized. This perspective provides valuable insights into the complexities of human relationships and the need to address the root causes of marital challenges.
The idea of marriage as a covenant rather than a contract is a crucial distinction that shapes the dynamics of the relationship. When marriage is viewed as a covenant, it is understood as a sacred and unbreakable bond, rooted in unconditional love and commitment. This perspective emphasizes the enduring nature of the relationship, regardless of whether expectations are met or not. The focus shifts from individual entitlement to mutual love and support, as exemplified in the biblical reference to 1st Peter chapter 4, verse No. 8, which speaks of fervent love covering a multitude of sins.
Expectations in marriage can often lead to a sense of entitlement, where one feels that meeting certain obligations is simply fulfilling their duty, rather than deserving of recognition or appreciation. This can create a dynamic where one partner feels unappreciated and the other feels burdened by unmet expectations. For example, in the scenario of paying school fees, the expectation of acknowledgment from the spouse can lead to feelings of neglect or unappreciation. This mindset can ultimately lead to a breakdown in the relationship, as both partners feel unfulfilled and unappreciated.
By understanding marriage as a covenant based on unconditional love, the focus shifts from fulfilling expectations to expressing gratitude and appreciation for one another. This perspective fosters an environment of mutual respect and support, where both partners feel valued and appreciated. It also serves to prevent the development of a sense of entitlement, as the emphasis is on the unconditional nature of love and commitment, rather than fulfilling specific expectations. This shift in mindset can ultimately lead to a healthier and more fulfilling marriage, where both partners feel appreciated and supported, without the burden of unmet expectations.
The impact of having a sense of expectation in a relationship goes beyond just anticipating certain outcomes. It also leads individuals to begin rationing the expression of love. This means that instead of freely giving love and gratitude, some individuals start to withhold these emotions. This can be detrimental as it may result in a lack of intimacy and emotional connection within the relationship. For example, a husband may desire intimacy with his wife, but the wife might respond by questioning if he has fulfilled certain obligations like paying the house rent. This kind of behavior can lead to a transactional approach to love and intimacy, where actions are only taken based on meeting certain expectations.
In contrast, the concept of a covenant in marriage emphasizes unconditional love and commitment. Drawing from the analogy of Christ and the church, the idea is to love and support one another regardless of meeting specific expectations. This means that even if one party falls short or makes mistakes, the love and support remain constant. By viewing marriage as a covenant rather than a contractual agreement, individuals can foster a deeper connection and understanding within the relationship. It shifts the focus from meeting expectations to supporting and loving each other unconditionally.
Ultimately, a marriage that operates on the principles of a covenant rather than expectations is more likely to succeed and thrive. By embracing the concept of unconditional love and commitment, individuals can create a strong foundation for their relationship. This means that instead of keeping score or withholding love based on meeting certain criteria, couples can focus on supporting each other through challenges and celebrating each other’s successes. Viewing marriage as a covenant allows for a deeper level of connection and understanding, fostering a relationship that is built on love, trust, and mutual respect.
The achievement of oneness in a marriage is not possible when the foundation of the marriage is based solely on a contract. A marriage that is run on a covenant, on the other hand, is one that is unconditional and does not have the potential to fail. Human needs are insatiable, and it is unrealistic to live one’s life solely to please another person. Therefore, a marriage based on covenant should be unconditional, allowing both partners to thrive and grow together. It is important to note that the dos and don’ts mentioned are not laws, but rather advice to be considered. It is crucial not to conform or subdue oneself in a marriage that is based on covenant, as doing so can lead to the eventual collapse of the marriage.
In a marriage based on covenant, it is essential to avoid conforming or subduing oneself, as this can lead to the suppression of one’s voice and individuality. This can result in a lack of real love and oneness within the marriage, as it becomes more about the individual rather than the partnership. It is important to recognize the value of both partners in the marriage, regardless of their roles or responsibilities. For example, if a man is the primary breadwinner, it does not mean that he should subdue his wife. Both partners are valuable assets in the marriage, and their contributions should be acknowledged and respected.
To truly understand the value of each partner in a marriage, it is important to recognize the efforts and contributions made by each individual. For instance, if a woman is a homemaker, her role in caring for the children and managing the household should be acknowledged and appreciated. It is crucial to avoid conforming or subduing oneself in a marriage, as this can lead to an imbalance and lack of oneness. By recognizing and valuing each other’s contributions, a marriage based on covenant can thrive and achieve the oneness that is essential for a successful partnership.
It is important to recognize that as individuals, we are created by God as valuable assets. This means that we should view ourselves in this light and understand that we have a purpose and worth in the eyes of our Creator. Furthermore, when it comes to relationships, particularly marriage, it is crucial to approach them with a Christian mindset. This involves living in a way that reflects the teachings of the Bible and striving for oneness in the marriage covenant.
Living as a Christian in a marriage or courtship means acknowledging that God is the ultimate observer. The Bible describes God as a monitoring spirit, with His eyes watching over everything in the universe. Therefore, it is essential to trust in God’s guidance and not try to take on the role of monitoring others ourselves. By living faithfully and honestly, not only are we honoring our partners, but we are also showing reverence to God, who sees all.
Choosing to live as a Christian in relationships has profound implications. It means understanding that every action, whether positive or negative, is ultimately a reflection of our relationship with God. By prioritizing faithfulness and integrity, we can address and minimize many of the issues that may arise in relationships. Ultimately, living as a Christian means recognizing that God’s presence is constant and all-encompassing, and by aligning our actions with His teachings, we can navigate relationships with grace and integrity.
Choosing to live as a Christian means embracing a life where God’s omnipresence is acknowledged. This means that there are no secrets, as God sees everything. The foundation of a Christian’s life is based on the word of God, and this choice entails living a life of trust, transparency, accountability, and integrity. It is believed that it is nearly impossible to have a successful covenant marriage without first being a covenant child of God. This recognition of God’s omnipresence and the commitment to living a life of trust and integrity are essential components of being a covenant child of God.
In addition to recognizing God’s omnipresence, being a covenant child of God also involves practicing unconditional love and forgiveness. This practice extends beyond the home and marriage, as it is expected that a forgiving person at work would also demonstrate kindness and generosity without ulterior motives. The belief is that if one is able to practice love and forgiveness in other areas of life, it should not be difficult to do the same at home. The emphasis is on aligning one’s actions with the teachings of the Bible and ensuring that the motivation behind kindness and forgiveness is rooted in scriptural principles.
The importance of running a marriage as a covenant is highlighted, as it is believed that marriages not based on this principle can bring out the worst in people. Without the foundation of trust, transparency, and accountability, the atmosphere in a marriage can become one of criticism, obligation, and negative emotions. This can lead to a loss of self-awareness and a transformation into a person who is unrecognizable, characterized by tyranny and wickedness. The message is clear: living as a Christian and being a covenant child of God involves aligning one’s actions with the teachings of the Bible and ensuring that the principles of trust, transparency, and love are upheld in all aspects of life, including marriage.
The Scripture teaches us that “two are better than one,” emphasizing the importance of companionship and unity. However, in the scenario presented, it seems that the presence of two individuals has led to bitterness instead of the intended betterment. The shift from being single to married has resulted in a negative transformation, contrary to the biblical principle.
The message conveyed is that marriage should be a source of improvement and growth, not bitterness and discord. If the current relationship is causing bitterness, the suggestion is to reevaluate and reconstruct it into a covenant that brings out the best in both partners. The call to action is to rebuild, reshape, and turn the foundation of the marriage around, with the ultimate goal of glorifying the name of Jesus in every household.