MADE IN HEAVEN
In this sixth season of exploring the dynamics of relationships, we are focusing on the theme “Made In Heaven,” which encourages a return to foundational principles derived from the Word of God. This exploration is relevant for individuals at all stages of life, whether married or single. It is essential to recognize that each person is significant in God’s eyes, and He has a unique plan for everyone. For single mothers, it is important to understand that God is attentive to your circumstances and is actively watching over you. The biblical account of the widow who approached the prophet Elijah serves as a poignant reminder of God’s intervention in the lives of those facing hardship. Just as God provided for her in a time of need, He is equally committed to supporting single mothers and encouraging them to move forward in their lives. The same applies to single fathers, who are also invited to embrace the principles we will discuss.
As we delve into these relationship principles, it is crucial to maintain an open heart and mind, regardless of your current status, whether widowed, divorced, or otherwise. God desires to meet you at your point of need, and His plans encompass everyone, irrespective of their past. The story of Ruth exemplifies how a young widow encountered her destiny through a divine connection with Boaz, ultimately leading her to become part of the lineage of Jesus Christ. This narrative illustrates that God has a purpose for each individual, including those who have experienced divorce. In a recent moment of reflection with the Holy Spirit, I was reminded of Jesus’ compassion for the woman at the well, who had faced multiple relationships yet was still embraced by His love. It is vital to approach those who have been divorced with understanding and grace, as dismissing them is not reflective of Christ’s teachings.
God has a unique purpose for each individual, and His intentions are intricately woven into the fabric of our lives. The narrative of the woman at the well in John chapter four exemplifies this truth. Jesus, fully aware of her past relationships and current situation, chose to engage with her, demonstrating that His love transcends our shortcomings. Despite her circumstances, He took the time to connect with her, ultimately transforming her into an evangelist. This encounter illustrates that everyone has a divine plan awaiting fulfillment, and it is essential to recognize that we are not alone in our journeys. As we delve into this series, it is crucial to invite others who may benefit from these discussions, as the principles we explore remain constant and relevant.
In every aspect of life, alignment with these enduring principles is vital for progress. Whether one is facing challenges in a troubled marriage or seeking personal growth, Jesus is the source of peace and wisdom that can guide us through turbulent times. He desires to impart understanding and clarity, enabling us to move beyond foolishness and embrace a path of righteousness. Reflecting on my own experiences, I recall the early days of my relationship with my wife, during which I was already envisioning our future together. I had made preparations, including meeting her family and saving for our wedding, all of which underscored my commitment. This personal journey serves as a reminder that God’s plans for our lives are often revealed through our relationships and decisions, affirming that His purpose is ever-present, regardless of our current circumstances.
On a particular day at Daystar Christian Centre, I found myself in my office when a woman entered seeking counsel. She was escorted to my office and took a seat directly across from me. Coincidentally, that week marked the tenth anniversary of my own marriage. As she began to share her story, it became evident that her husband had left home the day before their anniversary and did not return until two days later. Despite her attempts to reach out to him, even to extend a simple happy anniversary wish, her efforts were in vain. The emotional toll was palpable; she was visibly distraught, shedding tears as she recounted her experience. Although she held a prominent position as a bank executive, her heart was shattered. I felt compelled to draw upon scripture to offer her encouragement, despite my own unmarried status. I prayed with her and provided the support she desperately needed. However, after she left my office, I found myself grappling with doubts about marriage for the next three days, questioning whether my savings would be better invested in property rather than in a marital commitment.
This experience led me to reflect on the broader implications of such narratives surrounding marriage. It is not uncommon to encounter individuals who have lost faith in the institution, often influenced by the negative experiences of those around them. The pervasive stories of marital failure can instill fear and skepticism, causing one to shy away from the prospect of marriage altogether. Whether one has never been married or has experienced the pain of a failed relationship, it is crucial to recognize that the negative experiences of others should not dictate one’s own expectations. Instead, one should anchor their hopes in the promises found in God’s word, which serves as a foundation for a hopeful outlook on marriage. The question remains: have you allowed the discouraging tales of others to cloud your perspective on this sacred institution? It is essential to align your heart with faith and hope rather than despair.
What does the divine perspective reveal about the institution of marriage? It is essential to understand the principles that God has established regarding this sacred union. The expectations surrounding marriage should be rooted in the teachings and intentions that God has articulated. For those contemplating a commitment, it is crucial to approach this decision with a comprehensive understanding of its implications. Likewise, individuals already in a marital relationship should strive for deeper insights into their partnership. This series aims to revisit foundational truths found in scripture, illuminating God’s will for marriage and celebrating the glory of His design.
As we embark on this exploration, we encourage anyone seeking guidance to reach out for support. You may contact us via email at familylive@elevationng.org or call our office to schedule an appointment with a pastor. It is vital to address any struggles you may be facing, including feelings of same-sex attraction, as you are not alone in this journey. Many have experienced healing and deliverance from such challenges, and it is important to resist the notion that societal pressures define your identity. Entering into a marriage without genuine attraction can lead to profound heartache for both partners. It is imperative to confront and resolve these issues prior to marriage, as God is capable of providing the healing and transformation needed. We have witnessed the power of God in breaking various addictions and restoring lives, and we encourage you to seek that same transformative experience.
The nature of affection and attraction can often shift unexpectedly, with some changes occurring instantaneously while others may require a more gradual process. It is essential to align oneself with the belief that divine assistance is available, as living a life filled with self-deception is neither fulfilling nor desirable. The question posed today to both singles and couples revolves around understanding God’s standards for marriage. It is crucial to recognize that marriage demands significant effort; however, this effort is ultimately rewarding. Engaging in a deep exploration of God’s intentions for marriage is vital for those who are single, as well as for those who are already married, to ensure they can maximize the potential of their relationships.
A well-known scripture, Matthew 6:33, emphasizes the importance of prioritizing the pursuit of God’s kingdom and righteousness, promising that all other necessities will follow. This passage encourages individuals to diligently seek knowledge about God’s governance and principles, particularly in the context of marriage. By understanding and adhering to these divine guidelines, one can expect to experience the goodness that comes from a marriage aligned with God’s original design. Just as the chemical composition of water remains constant regardless of location, the foundational principles of marriage, as established by God, are universally applicable. Therefore, if individuals commit to these principles, they can anticipate successful marriages, whether in Nigeria, America, Australia, or the Middle East, as they are rooted in divine wisdom.
Marriage is fundamentally rooted in divine intention rather than merely a human construct.
It is articulated in the biblical narrative that God recognized the solitude of man and declared that it was not good for him to be alone. Notably, Adam did not express a desire for companionship or marriage; rather, it was God who initiated the concept. This indicates that marriage transcends cultural boundaries, as it is a universal institution inherent to human existence. The notion of marriage is not confined to any specific tribe or culture; rather, it is a divine principle that has been established for all of humanity.
In the account found in Genesis chapter 2, we observe that God placed Adam in the Garden of Eden with a clear purpose: to tend and keep it. This assignment underscores the inherent role of man as a nurturer, tasked with the responsibility of care and stewardship. The original design of man is not one of aggression or destruction; rather, it is characterized by gentleness and nurturing. God provided Adam with specific instructions regarding his conduct, emphasizing the importance of adhering to divine guidelines. Furthermore, God’s declaration that it is not good for man to be alone serves as a pivotal moment, highlighting the significance of companionship and the divine endorsement of marriage. As we reflect on these principles, it is essential for young men to understand the profound implications of their roles and responsibilities in relationships.
It is essential for young men to prioritize their personal development and professional pursuits before seeking a romantic partner. The emphasis should be placed on finding meaningful work and dedicating oneself to it. This foundational aspect of life is crucial, as it aligns with the divine intention that man should not be alone in his endeavors. The biblical narrative illustrates that after God assigned Adam the responsibility of tending to the earth, He recognized that it was not good for Adam to be alone. Thus, the concept of companionship emerged, highlighting the need for emotional, psychological, and physical support in one’s life journey.
The scripture recounts how God created various creatures and presented them to Adam for naming, yet none were found to be a suitable helper for him. This led to God causing Adam to fall into a deep sleep, from which He would later create a companion. The process underscores the importance of rest and trust in divine timing rather than striving or forcing relationships. Many individuals mistakenly believe that securing a partner requires relentless effort and social maneuvering, but the biblical account suggests that true fulfillment comes from resting in God’s plan. It is only in this state of tranquility that one can witness the divine movement in their life, allowing for the right connections to manifest naturally.
When you transition into a state of rest, it is essential to recognize that this allows for a shift into a more active mode of engagement with your life and purpose. It is crucial to understand that emotional and psychological rest is not merely a luxury but a necessity for your well-being. This period of rest should be viewed as an opportunity to focus on the divine plans that are unfolding for you, regardless of whether you are a young man or woman. As you depart from this gathering, I urge you to reflect on the notion that your marital future is firmly in the hands of God. Unlike business, which often requires relentless effort and hustle, marriage demands a different kind of preparation—one that emphasizes inner peace and tranquility. Embracing a state of deep rest is vital, as many individuals mistakenly settle for a mere nap when what is truly needed is a profound, restorative sleep. This deep rest is where God can work in your life without interference, allowing you to emerge renewed and ready for the blessings ahead.
Furthermore, it is important to acknowledge that this principle of rest applies not only to singles but also to those who are married. Many couples find themselves entangled in unnecessary conflicts, often driven by a desire to control or monitor their partner’s actions. It is imperative to adopt a more relaxed approach to relationships, understanding that trust and security are foundational elements. For married women, it is crucial to recognize that no amount of vigilance can prevent infidelity if it is destined to occur. A recent viral video illustrated the futility of such efforts, where a woman attempted to unlock her partner’s phone using his finger, only to discover that he had employed a clever ruse. Therefore, I encourage everyone to embrace a state of rest and security in their relationships, allowing for a healthier dynamic that fosters trust and understanding rather than suspicion and anxiety.
In moments of insecurity, individuals may inadvertently create distance in their marital relationships. This often occurs when one partner becomes overly inquisitive or fails to embrace the tranquility that a divinely ordained marriage can offer. It is during this state of rest that divine intervention can take place, as highlighted in the book of Hebrews, where God encourages His followers to enter into a state of rest. The scripture emphasizes that those who enter this rest cease from their own efforts, allowing God to manifest His works in their lives. It is essential to understand that true rest is not merely a brief pause but a deep, restorative sleep that fosters spiritual growth and connection.
As the narrative of creation unfolds, we see that when Adam awoke, he was presented with a companion, a woman crafted from his own rib. Adam recognized her as an integral part of himself, declaring her to be “bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.” This profound acknowledgment underscores the biblical principle that a man shall leave his parents and unite with his wife, forming a singular entity. The sanctity of marriage is rooted in divine intention, and to navigate its complexities successfully, one must turn to scripture for guidance. Just as a fish requires water to thrive, so too does a marriage need the nourishment of biblical wisdom to flourish, reinforcing the idea that everything essential for sustenance originates from its divine source.
In contemporary discussions surrounding marriage, there is a notable blending of various concepts and practices that diverge significantly from traditional understandings. To illustrate this, one can refer to the biblical account of marriage as presented in the Book of Genesis, which represents the foundational model, often termed “marriage 1.0.” In contrast, modern interpretations and arrangements have evolved, with some individuals engaging in what could be likened to “marriage 8.0” or even “iOS 10.3,” reflecting a myriad of ideas and practices, including prenuptial agreements that have even found acceptance among some Christian communities. However, it is essential to recognize that the essence of a person’s life, as stated in scripture, is not defined by material possessions. The act of establishing a prenuptial agreement suggests a focus on ownership rather than the intrinsic value of the marital union itself. This raises questions about the authenticity of such relationships, particularly when considering the biblical definition of marriage, which emphasizes the union of male and female, as originally intended by God.
Furthermore, it is crucial to seek divine guidance and presence in the context of marriage. The biblical narrative illustrates that God would commune with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, highlighting the importance of spiritual fellowship. For those who are single, it is imperative to cultivate a relationship with God prior to entering into marriage. The demands of married life can be significant, and if one struggles to maintain a prayer life or engage in personal worship while single, these challenges are likely to intensify once married. Therefore, it is advisable to develop a robust spiritual foundation before committing to a marital relationship, as understanding the principles of a kingdom marriage necessitates a deep connection with God’s presence and adherence to His guidance.
The scripture in Ecclesiastes 4:12 emphasizes the importance of companionship and support in relationships, stating that while an individual may struggle alone, the presence of another can provide the necessary strength to overcome challenges. The passage highlights that two individuals can withstand adversity together, and when a third element is introduced—symbolically representing God—the bond becomes even more resilient. This underscores the necessity of incorporating divine presence into one’s life, particularly within the context of marriage. Acknowledging God’s role is essential for understanding the deeper significance of marital commitments, as it fosters a sense of purpose that transcends individual desires.
Furthermore, it is crucial to recognize that relationships are not merely coincidental but are part of a divine plan. Individuals often express sentiments about preferring singlehood over enduring a challenging marriage, yet it is vital to reflect on the divine intentions behind the union. When one prioritizes God’s purpose, it becomes easier to navigate difficulties, as the focus shifts from personal grievances to a collective mission that honors the divine design. The relationship between Christ and the church, as illustrated in Ephesians 5:32, serves as a model for marital love, emphasizing forgiveness, unwavering support, and commitment. Understanding that marriage is a profound mystery, rooted in divine purpose, encourages couples to endure and thrive together, reinforcing the idea that their union is part of a greater plan.
In Ephesians 5:32, the Apostle Paul articulates a profound truth regarding the relationship between Christ and the Church, describing it as a “great mystery.” This statement invites a deeper exploration beyond the surface understanding that the Church is merely the bride of Christ. The analogy of a man meeting a woman serves as a typological representation of this divine relationship, emphasizing that the essence of marriage transcends physical expressions or romantic gestures. Instead, it is a divine illustration of how Christ interacts with the Church, highlighting the sacrifices and endurance required in such a union. The opportunity to marry is not merely a social contract but a divine design that allows individuals to witness and experience the complexities of love, commitment, and the grace that Christ extends to humanity.
A critical insight that emerges from this discussion is the notion that the primary purpose of marriage is holiness rather than happiness. Many individuals exit their marriages citing unhappiness as the reason, yet this perspective overlooks God’s original intention for marital unions. While happiness can indeed be a byproduct of a healthy marriage, it should not be the primary goal. Instead, the focus should be on spiritual growth and sanctification. As articulated in Ephesians 5:25-27, husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, which involves self-sacrifice and a commitment to their spiritual well-being. This understanding shifts the narrative from seeking personal satisfaction to pursuing a higher calling of holiness, thereby fulfilling God’s mission for marriage.
The process of sanctification involves setting individuals apart for a divine purpose, enabling them to be cleansed and renewed through the transformative power of the Word. This cleansing is akin to the meticulous care taken to prepare a beautiful piece of wood, where imperfections are removed through sanding, resulting in a polished and radiant finish. Similarly, the journey of sanctification may not always be pleasant; it often entails enduring discomfort and challenges. Many individuals may feel inclined to escape the trials of marriage when faced with discomfort, yet it is essential to recognize that these experiences are integral to the sanctification process. God’s intention is to purify and prepare His people, ensuring they are presented as a glorious entity, free from any blemish or imperfection.
The reality of human relationships, particularly within the context of marriage, reveals that when individuals are under pressure, their true nature is often exposed.
Just as a car reveals its contents when crushed, so too do people reveal their inner selves when faced with challenges. If anger or resentment is not present within, it will not manifest in moments of stress. Instead, a person who has cultivated patience and understanding will respond with grace, reflecting the character of God. This response is what God desires to see in His followers, as it demonstrates growth and alignment with His will. The sanctification process, therefore, is not merely about the removal of flaws but also about the development of virtues that mirror divine qualities.
The concept of Christlikeness embodies the essence of holiness, which is increasingly resonant with my personal journey. In the face of adversity, Jesus exemplified profound forgiveness, uttering the words, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do,” even as he endured the agony of crucifixion. His sacrificial love for the Church serves as a model for husbands, who are called to love their wives with the same depth of commitment that Christ demonstrated. To achieve success in marriage, one must embrace a selfless attitude, akin to dying to one’s own desires and idiosyncrasies. This transformative process of embodying Christlikeness is essential, as it allows individuals to transcend personal grievances and cultivate a nurturing relationship.
The trials faced by Jesus, including the piercing of his body and the crowning with thorns, illustrate his unwavering dedication to his bride, the Church. Understanding this profound commitment is crucial for anyone seeking to foster a successful marriage. In today’s society, there is a tendency to pursue happiness as the primary goal within marital relationships; however, true fulfillment arises from personal growth and transformation. It is imperative to recognize that challenges will inevitably arise, much like those faced by Christ, who bore our transgressions and offered forgiveness. Therefore, individuals must cultivate a spirit of resilience and grace, seeking wisdom and peace in their marital journey. As we gather in this moment, let us open our hearts to receive divine wisdom and grace, empowering us to navigate the complexities of marriage with a Christlike spirit, ensuring that we do not falter or retreat in the face of difficulties.