PURPOSE, MONEY AND SEX
Engage with someone nearby by offering a high five and proclaiming that God is present among us. Encourage your neighbor to embrace the atmosphere of joy and vitality, urging them to demonstrate their enthusiasm once more. Let us come together in celebration, and please feel free to take your seats. It is indeed a pleasure to be here on Democracy Day, a public holiday that invites reflection and festivity. For those who follow my social media accounts, you may have noticed my recent posts detailing my activities today; this marks my fourth event, and I am thrilled to be speaking once again. My day has been filled with meaningful engagements, including discussions with men in the morning and entrepreneurs at the launch of the Checkpoint Inspired App at Eko Hotel. However, among all the events I have attended, this gathering brings me the greatest joy, as I relish the opportunity to connect with young people who radiate energy and enthusiasm.
As I prepare to share my thoughts this evening, I trust that my message will inspire and uplift someone in attendance. I believe that God will use this moment to plant a seed in the hearts of those present, a seed that has the potential to flourish into a vibrant and fulfilling life. A truly beautiful life is one characterized by connection; we are not meant to exist in isolation but rather to engage with one another. Each individual is akin to a cell phone; without a functioning SIM card that can receive signals, the device loses its purpose. Similarly, there are ways of living that can diminish our ability to connect with others, akin to carrying a phone in a remote area with no signal. It is crucial to recognize when our lives begin to lose that vital connection, as it can lead to a sense of disconnection and isolation that hinders our potential for growth and fulfillment.
Life becomes profoundly enriching when one is able to cultivate a well-connected existence, as it is through these connections that true beauty and fulfillment are derived. Isolation seldom brings joy; rather, it is during the single phase of life that individuals often seek out significant relationships. These are not just any connections, but rather those that hold depth and meaning, as one aspires to lead a life that is both rewarding and impactful. As I approach my mid-40s, a period often associated with a midlife crisis, I find myself reflecting on the importance of these connections. With aspirations to live well into my 90s, I recognize that I am at a pivotal juncture, striving to enhance the quality of my relationships and maximize the connections I have cultivated over the years.
In a recent conversation with my wife, I sought to illustrate the strength of my relational network by asking her if, in our 14 years of marriage, we had ever arrived in a city without someone to greet us at the airport. This was a testament to the breadth of my connections, which I take pride in. During a retreat I attended in the English countryside, I encountered a young woman with whom I engaged in a meaningful dialogue about the essence of relationships. She shared her struggles, contrasting her experiences with mine, which have been largely enriched by the people I have met along my journey. I conveyed to her that my life has been significantly enhanced by these connections, as they have brought blessings and joy, even if not every acquaintance has had a positive impact. This exchange underscored the profound difference that meaningful relationships can make in one’s life.
Upon realizing that I had captured her attention, I began to express my accomplishments in a manner reminiscent of how I would boast to my wife. I mentioned that I had arrived in the UK just three days prior and that someone had been sent to pick me up from the airport, highlighting the connections I had cultivated. I confidently stated that my departure from this place was already arranged for three days later, despite the fact that I had not encountered a single familiar face during my brief five or six-day retreat. Remarkably, all my necessary arrangements were efficiently handled, with three centers organized for my visit, as Pastor T can attest. This experience led me to reflect on how one can lead a life filled with purpose and impact, largely through meaningful connections.
Many individuals present may feel disillusioned with the concept of networking, often perceiving it as a chore rather than an opportunity. It is disheartening to witness people sitting together, seemingly requiring financial incentives to engage in conversation, unaware of the invaluable experiences they are forfeiting by not embracing a life rich in connections. The foundation for building these relationships often begins during one’s singlehood; neglecting this phase can lead to difficulties in marriage, as many find themselves in unsatisfactory unions due to a lack of a supportive network. It is crucial to establish connections with individuals who understand your strengths and weaknesses, as these relationships can provide essential support. My fervor for this topic stems from personal experience; I recognize that one cannot connect with everyone, and the notion that one must only engage with potential partners is a misguided approach to building a meaningful network.
It is essential to recognize that the essence of personal and professional growth extends beyond the mere act of marrying someone. Currently, there exists a dynamic where an individual may possess resources or opportunities that are crucial for your advancement, yet without engaging in a collaborative or business relationship with them, your potential for success remains limited. It is imperative to understand that there are individuals who hold the key to the opportunities you seek, and navigating through these relationships is vital for reaching your next level of achievement. Furthermore, it is important to acknowledge that any relationship, including marriage, can be jeopardized if one lacks the necessary relational skills. These skills are not innate; rather, they must be cultivated through genuine interactions and experiences with others.
Relational skills can be likened to the process of learning to drive; theoretical knowledge alone is insufficient. One must actively participate in driving to truly grasp the nuances of the skill. Many individuals shy away from forming connections, whether friendships or deeper relationships, while simultaneously claiming to prepare for a lifelong commitment such as marriage. This paradox raises the question of how one can expect to master relational dynamics if they are not engaging with others. Often, the fixation on finding a partner overshadows the importance of developing these skills. It is crucial to approach relationships with an open mind, embracing both the challenges and joys that come with connecting with others. For those who identify as followers of Jesus, it is vital to understand that true maturity—be it physical, emotional, or spiritual—is demonstrated through one’s ability to navigate relational situations effectively.
Emotional maturity cannot be assessed merely through superficial interactions or claims; it is truly revealed in the face of adversity within relationships. One’s ability to navigate through complex emotional landscapes and emerge unscathed serves as a testament to their maturity. Similarly, the perception of spiritual maturity is often misguided, with many equating it to the extent of scriptural knowledge or the flamboyance of their expressions in prayer. While understanding scripture and seeking spiritual gifts, such as the baptism of the Holy Spirit, are indeed valuable pursuits, they do not inherently signify spiritual maturity. True spiritual growth is reflected in the manifestation of the fruits of the Spirit, as outlined in Galatians 5:22, which include love, joy, peace, gentleness, patience, and self-control. If one can recite scripture fluently yet fails to exhibit these qualities in daily interactions, their maturity remains questionable.
In light of these reflections, it is crucial to recognize the importance of meaningful connections in our lives.
Each individual we encounter carries a unique influence, akin to mathematical symbols that denote their impact on us. Some individuals may represent subtraction, draining our energy and resources, while others may embody division, creating discord and fragmentation. Conversely, there are those who symbolize addition or multiplication, enriching our lives and fostering growth. Understanding these dynamics is essential for cultivating relationships that enhance our emotional and spiritual well-being. Therefore, it is imperative to value and seek out connections that contribute positively to our journey, ensuring that we surround ourselves with individuals who uplift and inspire us.
When you engage with certain individuals, you may find that they contribute positively to your life from all directions—front, back, left, right, and center. This phenomenon illustrates the importance of being discerning about the people you choose to surround yourself with. It is essential for each of you to be aware of the subtle cues and signs that others exhibit, as these can provide valuable insights into their character and intentions. As I continue my discourse, I would like to shift the focus toward the concept of purpose, a topic that often evokes a sense of urgency and contemplation among many individuals.
The notion of purpose is frequently misconstrued as a daunting quest that requires extreme measures, such as retreating to a remote location for an extended period of reflection. While prayer and meditation are indeed vital components of this journey, a deeper exploration of scriptural narratives can offer clarity and direction. For instance, consider the story of Joseph, who, as a young man, received a dream that he struggled to comprehend. Ultimately, his life’s trajectory revealed that he was destined to play a crucial role in safeguarding his people during a time of famine. Throughout his tumultuous journey—from servitude to imprisonment—Joseph remained attuned to his own strengths, weaknesses, passions, and gifts, which ultimately enabled him to fulfill his divine purpose.
To truly uncover one’s purpose, it is essential to possess a deep awareness of oneself. This self-awareness encompasses an understanding of personal passions, innate talents, and the unique attributes that define an individual. The concept of “shape” serves as a useful framework for this exploration, where the acronym SHAPE represents Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality, and Experiences. Recognizing these elements is crucial, as they collectively inform how one is wired and what potential lies within. It is imperative to reflect on significant life experiences and the lessons learned from them, as these factors contribute to the overall understanding of one’s identity and the divine intentions that may be at play in one’s life journey.
The connection between passion, gifts, personality, and purpose is profound and cannot be overlooked. As illustrated in the biblical account of Jeremiah, God’s knowledge of an individual precedes their physical existence, indicating that purpose is established before any form or identity is shaped. This notion emphasizes that each person is created with a specific purpose in mind, as articulated in Jeremiah 1:5, where God declares His foreknowledge and ordination of Jeremiah as a prophet. This message resonates universally, suggesting that every individual, including you, has been intentionally designed with a unique purpose that aligns with their gifts and passions. Understanding this divine orchestration can empower one to embrace their journey and actively engage in fulfilling their purpose.
The intricacies of my being—encompassing my physical form, mental wiring, inherent traits, personality, talents, interests, and the myriad experiences that have shaped my life—are all intricately aligned to guide me toward my purpose. It is essential to understand that everything in my life is orchestrated to direct me toward this divine intention. This alignment is a fundamental principle of how God operates in our lives. As we delve deeper into the concepts of purpose, wealth, and intimacy, I will focus on the latter. I appreciate your patience as I navigate this discussion, as it is crucial to establish a comprehensive understanding of these interconnected themes.
Wealth is inherently attracted to value, and this value is derived from the unique attributes that define my existence, which are intrinsically linked to my purpose. A pertinent example is the story of Joseph, who leveraged his gifts to ascend to a position of influence within Pharaoh’s court. Each individual possesses unique talents waiting to be discovered, and in today’s society, particularly in Nigeria, there is a growing recognition and celebration of these gifts. Social media has emerged as a powerful platform for individuals to showcase their talents, as exemplified by a young comedian I encountered recently, who gained prominence through Instagram. This era presents unprecedented opportunities for individuals to realize their potential and achieve international recognition without substantial financial resources. Unlike previous generations, where access to media was limited and often controlled, today’s landscape allows for a democratization of talent and creativity, making it an extraordinary time to be alive.
To seize power in today’s world, one can leverage platforms like Facebook to communicate effectively and reach a global audience, transcending geographical boundaries such as those of Nigeria. The realization that circumstances have evolved compels individuals to embrace their passions, talents, and interests, as neglecting to do so would be a disservice to the potential for change. Financial success is intrinsically linked to the value one provides, which is often rooted in the unique abilities bestowed upon them by a higher power. The biblical figure Jeremiah serves as a poignant example; he was informed of his prophetic calling, emphasizing that deviating from one’s true purpose leads to suboptimal outcomes. It is essential to align with the original intention behind one’s existence, as no individual is a mere accident of procreation.
The concept of purpose is not a personal invention but rather a discovery of a preordained plan. This plan necessitates introspection and the establishment of connections among one’s passions, gifts, and temperament. True fulfillment and financial prosperity are found within the realm of one’s purpose, where opportunities arise naturally when one aligns with their divine calling. The story of Moses illustrates this principle vividly; his deep-seated passion for his people drove him to act decisively, even while residing in Pharaoh’s palace. His fervor for justice and his commitment to the Jewish people were so profound that they manifested in his actions, ultimately guiding him toward his destined role as a leader.
He was a Jew, and this identity profoundly influenced his perception of injustice. Whenever he encountered any form of oppression, it resonated deeply within him, compelling him to flee due to actions taken four decades prior. However, a transformative moment awaited him in the form of a burning bush experience. I earnestly hope that someone here tonight will also encounter a similar revelation before the year concludes. This individual witnessed the miraculous sight of a bush ablaze yet unconsumed, capturing his attention and awakening him to God’s original purpose for his life. God communicated that the passion instilled within him from the beginning was now ready to be realized, as the time had come for him to return and fulfill his destiny. Upon his arrival, he would speak with authority, and doors would open before him, for he was positioned at the center of God’s will. His words would carry weight, and even plagues could be unleashed upon the land, all because he was aligned with his divine purpose.
Being in the center of God’s will does not imply a life devoid of challenges; rather, it guarantees that opposition will arise. Nevertheless, God will provide the strength to overcome these adversities. The concept of provision, or “pro-vision,” signifies that when one receives a vision from God, financial resources will follow, as they are meant to support that vision. This connection between financial support and purpose is crucial. Furthermore, it is essential to address the topic of sexual relationships within this context. If one is not married, engaging in sexual activity can serve as a significant distraction from fulfilling one’s purpose. This form of intimacy represents the pinnacle of human emotion shared between two individuals. God’s directive to abstain from sex before marriage is not rooted in a desire to restrict joy; rather, it stems from a protective intention. Many individuals have misinterpreted this guidance, perceiving the God of Christianity as harsh, yet it is vital to understand that such boundaries are established for one’s ultimate well-being.
He exhibits a strong aversion to the idea of people enjoying themselves, particularly in contexts where they may have previously encountered similar experiences. For instance, upon entering a church or engaging with religious literature, individuals may be confronted with messages that discourage sexual activity. I recall a conversation with a young woman during my tenure as a pastor at Daystar, where I sought to provide guidance after she had committed her life to Christ. As we delved into the topic of sexual conduct, I emphasized that to be a dedicated follower of Jesus Christ, one must practice abstinence. Her response was one of genuine curiosity, as she questioned the feasibility of such a commitment. I reassured her that it is indeed possible, sharing my own experience of living without sexual relations until marriage, highlighting that sex is not a fundamental necessity for survival like food, air, or water.
The misconception that sexual activity is essential for well-being has led many to develop unhealthy dependencies. This belief can often manifest as a mild form of sexual addiction, where individuals feel their lives hinge on engaging in sexual behaviors. In my book, “Sexuality Get a Grip,” aimed at singles, I explore these themes in depth, particularly in Chapter 3, where I address issues such as sexual addiction, masturbation, and pornography. These topics are critical as they reveal the emotional and mental turmoil that can arise from such dependencies, diverting one’s focus from personal growth and destiny. It is essential to recognize the destructive impact these behaviors can have on one’s ability to think clearly and pursue meaningful relationships, as they can lead to manipulative tactics rather than genuine connections.
The complexities of human sexuality often lead to significant distractions in our lives, particularly when one considers the time and mental energy devoted to sexual activities, such as a mere five minutes of intercourse. This seemingly brief encounter can manifest as a substantial diversion, one that may not be fully recognized until an individual begins to reflect on their daily routines and the extent of their engagement in sexual behaviors. For those grappling with issues such as addiction to masturbation or pornography, it is crucial to acknowledge the profound impact these habits can have on one’s overall well-being. As we delve deeper into this topic, it becomes evident that understanding the underlying factors contributing to these distractions is essential for personal growth and recovery.
At the core of sexual attraction lies a complex interplay of chemical reactions, often referred to as “chemistry.” This term encapsulates the hormonal responses and physiological changes that occur during arousal, which can be likened to a cascade of chemical processes within the body. Recognizing that we are essentially composed of various chemicals helps illuminate the nature of our desires and impulses. The challenge of achieving emotional, physical, and spiritual maturity lies in our ability to manage these chemical reactions effectively. It is important to note that sexual addiction can manifest in various forms, including arousal addiction and fantasy addiction, making it a pervasive issue that can rival the severity of substance abuse disorders. Understanding the powerful influence of sexual behavior on our lives is vital for those seeking to regain control and foster healthier relationships with themselves and others.
Consider the scenario of an individual grappling with an addiction to masturbation, where the compulsion becomes so overwhelming that it disrupts daily life. Imagine being in a crucial meeting, and despite the importance of the discussion, an involuntary response is triggered by a glance or a thought, compelling the individual to excuse themselves to the restroom for relief. This behavior raises significant questions about mental stability and self-control. It is essential to recognize that such compulsions can lead to a distorted perception of reality, where the individual may deceive themselves into believing that their actions are normal or acceptable. The implications of a lack of self-discipline in sexual matters extend far beyond mere personal struggle; they can fundamentally alter one’s relationship with God and their sense of purpose in life.
The insidious nature of sexual addiction can lead to a cascade of negative consequences, including diminished self-esteem and a skewed understanding of love and relationships. When individuals become desensitized to the sanctity of sexual intimacy, they may inadvertently compromise their spiritual well-being and their connection to divine purpose. This detachment can foster feelings of unworthiness, making it difficult to trust in God’s promises or to engage fully with His power to achieve one’s destiny. It is crucial to recognize that true love is not synonymous with lust; rather, it is rooted in respect and commitment. As one navigates these challenges, it is vital to reaffirm the intention behind relationships and to resist the misleading notion that physical intimacy equates to genuine affection. By prioritizing self-control and understanding the distinction between love and lust, individuals can align themselves more closely with their divine purpose and maximize their potential.
It is essential to approach relationships with clarity and honesty, recognizing the true nature of love.
Often, individuals may express affection in the moment, only to later claim that they are not compatible. This inconsistency arises from a misunderstanding of love itself; genuine love requires patience and the ability to wait for the right person. Reflecting on my own experience, I can attest to the importance of commitment and self-control. For instance, I dated my wife for three years before our marriage, and during that time, I maintained my integrity, despite the natural temptations that arose. If I could exercise such restraint, it is certainly within the capability of others to do the same.
As I gathered here today, I felt a divine prompting to address the needs of those present. Many individuals may be seeking guidance in discovering their purpose and becoming more mission-oriented in their lives. Additionally, it is crucial to confront the distractions that can arise from sexual relationships, which can often cloud one’s judgment and focus. I also recognize that some may be grappling with addiction, a struggle that deserves attention and support. While time is limited, I encourage those interested to seek out resources, such as the book I mentioned, which may provide further insight and assistance. I am committed to being present and offering prayer and support to those who need it, as we navigate these important discussions together.
Individuals are often approached with inquiries that require thoughtful responses. It is important to engage with these questions earnestly, as there are opportunities for assistance regardless of one’s financial situation. For those who may lack the necessary funds, resources may be available at no cost, while those who can afford it will find that the expenses are manageable, potentially around $1,000. Furthermore, there may be flexibility in pricing, allowing for reductions of approximately 20% or more, which can facilitate access to valuable knowledge. The emphasis should be placed on the acquisition of understanding rather than the monetary aspect, as the pursuit of knowledge is paramount.
In addressing personal challenges, particularly those related to addiction, it is crucial to acknowledge the reality of one’s circumstances. If you find yourself in a relationship where both partners are struggling with similar issues, it is essential to recognize the potential consequences of such dynamics. The emotional turmoil that arises can lead to destructive behaviors, often feeling as though one is trapped in a cycle of compulsion. It is vital to confront these issues openly and seek assistance, rather than resigning to a state of hopelessness. Engaging in a relationship solely for physical gratification can hinder the development of essential relational skills, which are critical for a successful marriage. It is important to prioritize emotional growth and understanding over immediate pleasures, as the foundation of a lasting partnership is built on mutual respect and shared experiences beyond physical intimacy.
It is important to recognize that patience can yield significant benefits in relationships, particularly when it comes to mutual respect and understanding. The foundation of my marriage is built on the principle that we maintained our integrity before tying the knot. My wife, for instance, has the freedom to travel anywhere in the world without causing me concern. She previously worked in a bank and engaged in various business ventures, including international training sessions. Throughout our three-year courtship, we upheld our commitment to abstinence, which speaks volumes about our self-control and mutual attraction. We often communicated openly about our feelings, even jokingly acknowledging the physical attraction we had for one another while setting boundaries to ensure we remained respectful of our relationship.
The challenges many couples face often stem from a lack of understanding regarding their own human nature. It is crucial to confront the reality of one’s situation rather than underestimate the complexities of desire and temptation. Many individuals squander valuable time that could be spent developing essential relational skills, which ultimately leads to conflict and dissatisfaction. In my experience counseling couples over the past five years, I have witnessed numerous relationships falter within mere months of marriage, often due to a focus on physical intimacy rather than emotional and relational growth. It is vital to prioritize the cultivation of a strong partnership, as this lays the groundwork for a lasting and fulfilling union. As we reflect on these insights, let us stand in reverence and honor of the principles that guide us in our relationships.